This is not my ceiling
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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