I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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