Define "chronic" masturbator.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
