Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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