Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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