yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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