D3 body, D1 cock
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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