So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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