i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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