We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
