WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize