my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
