Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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