I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize