Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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