Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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