I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
