We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
