is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
