I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
