Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
