Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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