piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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