Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
