its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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