Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
