this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So apparently I’m into choking now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
