I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
