there's paper in my vomit.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
