broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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