there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Buhtt sex?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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