i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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