Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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