how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize