I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Vodka?
Forever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am naked and annoyed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
