tell your sister to shave her snatch
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
