tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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