just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
