I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
