My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
