I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
