Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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