There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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