11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
