You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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