i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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