I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
