I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
