oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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