turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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