after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
