at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
