I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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