We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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