good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize