she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize