Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he shaved USA in his pubs
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Someone shattered a urinal.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
