You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
