i barfeds in our rink
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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