I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
