i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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