so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
