im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
